INCIDENT REPORT. Unauthorised Recruitment, We Need to Talk About Colin

Spectral Cŵn Annwn corgi Colin racing along rainy Aberystwyth promenade during an unauthorised Morrigan Department incident.

MORRIGAN DEPARTMENT
Personnel and Spectral Affairs
Probationary Field Operations

INCIDENT REPORT: MD-IR-17C-004

Classification: Cŵn Annwn (Juvenile / Unauthorised)

Subject: Jones, Colin

Current manifestation: Spectral Cardigan Corgi

Apparent age: Sixteen human / approximately three corgi

Location: Aberystwyth promenade, north section

Status: Recruitment protocol auto-initiated


Summary of Incident

At dusk, probationary Cŵn Annwn Colin Jones manifested on Aberystwyth promenade without an assigned handler and without valid authorisation.

The subject correctly detected a disturbance in the local patterning.

Unfortunately, he also detected chips.

Gareth Ellis, a civilian in the immediate area, was carrying a paper parcel containing chips with salt and vinegar.

The vinegar scent appears to have overridden the subject’s training.

Colin accelerated towards the source.

During the pursuit, his spatial awareness of living persons deteriorated and he passed Mr Ellis at speed.

The subject’s teeth made brief contact with the civilian’s right ankle.

Mr Ellis reported a sharp puncture sensation followed by transient warmth and tingling.

Colin disengaged immediately after contact and demanifested between two lamp posts.

He left the area without completing his original task.

He also left the chips.

Collateral Damage

Gravity claimed approximately £5 worth of chips.

The promenade absorbed a quantity of grease.

Mr Ellis conducted a minor litter audit of the surrounding area without being asked.

A short-lived static discharge also disrupted local drizzle behaviour.

The weather resumed normal operation without departmental intervention.

Civilian Response

Mr Ellis remained composed throughout the incident.

He did not scream.

He expressed annoyance regarding dog control, lead usage and the general principle that animals should not be allowed to bite passers-by on the promenade.

Local authorities remain unaware of the supernatural element.

Of greater interest, Mr Ellis prioritised disposing of the fallen chip paper and checking the surrounding pavement for litter before assessing his own injury.

This behaviour has been flagged for observation.

Personnel and Spectral Affairs notes that this is not a normal response to being bitten by an unidentified spectral dog.

Medical Assessment

Follow-up observation was conducted approximately twelve hours after the incident.

The skin at the contact site remained unbroken.

No bruising, puncture wound or other conventional injury was visible.

The civilian reported no continuing pain.

The brief warmth and tingling experienced immediately after contact had resolved.

Mr Ellis declined medical intervention.

Subject Jones reported total comfort and satisfaction.

Subject Behaviour Assessment

Colin remains enthusiastic, alert and highly task-focused.

He correctly identified an irregularity in local supernatural patterning and attempted to investigate without prompting.

This demonstrates initiative.

It does not demonstrate judgement.

Impulse control continues to deteriorate in the presence of food, with vinegar producing a particularly strong fixation response.

The subject also selected pavement-level manifestation rather than the safer verge-level approach specified during training.

This decision remains under review.

Probationary History

Subject Jones is already operating under probation following an earlier incident involving a sausage roll and a recycling bag.

Family representatives have been notified of the latest infraction.

Future deployment should remain restricted to areas clear of food, paperwork or both unless a supervisor is present.

Operational Planning has queried whether such an area exists.

No suitable location has yet been identified.

Training Recommendations

  • Refresher training on approach vectors around living persons.
  • Reinforcement of observe only protocols.
  • Additional conditioning around chip shops.
  • Further work on demanifestation following distractions.
  • Supervised exposure to salt-and-vinegar scent profiles.

A muzzle enchantment is recommended for the duration of probationary field work.

The subject has previously removed two such devices.

He maintains that this demonstrates problem-solving ability.

Secondary Effect | Civilian

Approximately twelve hours after the incident, Mr Ellis began displaying an unusual increase in organisational behaviour.

Observed symptoms include:

  • Aggressive tidying.
  • Unprompted categorisation.
  • Early-onset task prioritisation outside working hours.
  • Repeated checking of objects already known to be in the correct place.

These behaviours are consistent with early recruitment-pattern activation.

No recruitment request was submitted.

No recruitment interview took place.

No authorised member of staff initiated contact with the civilian.

Recruitment protocol appears to have started anyway.

Administrative Assessment

Mr Ellis remains under observation for further bureaucratic tendencies.

Personnel and Spectral Affairs has opened a provisional civilian file pending confirmation that the effect is stable.

No approach should be made until Recruitment determines whether the process can be reversed, completed or at least documented retrospectively.

Filed by: HR Liaison, Provisional

Handler at time of incident: None assigned.

Probationary Note: Colin has been reminded that not all anomalies require teeth. He disagreed.